Is it good to marry a person you have not any romantic feelings for?

What do you do if you have to marry a person, who is not in romance with you?  

Suppose there is a person, who is wealthy, intelligence and average looking, but you don’t have any romantic feeling about the person. Under certain circumstance you may need to marry this person. what do you do in a situation like above?

How deeply romantic feelings are involving for successful marriage? What would happen if you married this person? 

Well…as I described in an earlier article, romance does give a real push for very beginning in a relationship or even in a marriage. In any happy marriage, intimacy is enjoyed, and it needs to be there. But it’s not enough for long lasting relationship. Gradually we need more and more valid reasons for keep this relationship continues. So in hand, if you could start a relationship or marriage without a romantic feeling for someone, we cannot exactly say, this not gonna workout. It depends on what you do in the relationship. If you can transform this person into the character you want them to be, it will be a good reason for have a feeling about him or her. Other major thing is try to avoid being judgmental and don't give up on all the efforts you make to change them to what you yearn for. Or accept them as they are. Be understanding and start, looking carefully at the qualities that attracted you to this person, You are likely to get the spark where it has been hiding.

So on the other hand, though you try hard to change that person, how you want them to be or accept them as they are, it may not work due to lack of other reasons. And don’t forget that romantic feelings are refreshing the relationship time to time. On this condition, Husband or boy friend feels a special or unique attachment to his wife or girl friend because of the attraction he has towards her and the same applies to the wife or girl friend. This not happens without a romance. Hence, romantic attraction must be there in a progressive and promising relationship besides the other qualities. Not only that, but also if you not have any romantic feelings about them, it’s naturally start failing to give that person their marital due (basically sex) eventually forcing them to go outside marriage to seek and get what you are denying for them.

However, one day if you have to marry a person, you don’t have any romance for, effective communication is a must. Let your partner know how you appreciate every effort they put forth to make the marriage work, and lovingly help them overcome the barriers you are seeing.

Read More

Can long distance love survive healthy?

Does it long distance love survive healthy? Have you ever come a crossed this type of relationship? Carrying a long distance romance is not an easy thing, It's because, rather than holding it for a time period, it may easy to let go and make the mind up. If you ever have to take a decision on long distance love, are you willing to give it a chance? If you people have to stay separated for a time period, sometimes it may be easy to hold on. But, if you people have to stick in an unknown area for unknown time period, it wouldn’t be an easy thing to manage. But in here, hope is the key. Lets hope to lead the way. It will keep alive both of you. 
 

As I described in early article, most lovers take love and relationships for granted. But in reality, relationships need commitment and a bit of work. Most of the time, chemistry in love and understanding makes things in love seem easier and happier. When you are away from each other, it’s easier to rise up misunderstanding for very little things like, missing schedule meetings, giving phone calls on time, or engaging telephone line, or even for rumors. This makes worse, coz’ either of you can’t do much to ease the tension because both of you are so far away. Other major issues are freedom and loneliness. You have more freedom to do whatever you want, without knowing to your lover. Same time you have a painful loneliness without your lover. It will make up your mind to have more friendly associations with your friends.  So… those two facts will lead easily you for another relationship. Hence Take a chance on long distance love only if both of you can keep the trust and hope for each other.  

Always trust will play the key role for long distance love affairs. You know, it’s very easy to have a great time with someone else when you’re out with a ‘new friend’. Likewise could your partner be up to something? Or perhaps your partner may lose interest in the relationship when they’re having so much fun hanging out with new friends? And the biggest headache in long distance love, attractive new friends. It’s very easy for one partner to get jealous or angry when the other partner gets friendly with a few new attractive people. When new, mysterious friends start posting regular comments on social web sites or start interrupting phone calls, it’s all the more reason to lose your cool. But, still if you can keep trust in your lover, that's the key point. So the good news is, this is the perfect time to realize, who is the real life partner for you and what is the real love are. Both of you will feel how much love means to both of you, when you miss one partner. Not only that, but also when you put more effort to keep your love alive, automatically it will strengthen the relationship with trust, hopes and love. And the same it will raise the more sexual feelings about each other,  Long distance love can actually be the biggest relationship test that can help both of you understand how much either of you mean to each other.

All the humans are always growing and changing in to better and newer individuals. But you can’t see these changes, when you stay in together. Coz’ you evolve together. But when you away from each other, and when you go after your own carriers individually, these changes will lead both of you for some other directions. And both of you may end up becoming incompatible partners even if both of you were deeply in love with each other. At the end, Long distance love may be a great test to measure the strength in a relationship.

Read More

Do you always fight with your partner?

Many couples in society are quarreling and arguing with each others, even when they love each other very much. if those arguments go deeply, they may not talk to each others for days. Perhaps you may try to resolve the case, but it may be more and more complicated at the end. Have you ever thought about this? Why this is happening in many?

If you take a closer look about this issue, you may see series of serious issues that you have not solved yet. This is characteristic of relationships and marriages where partners have a habit of postponing finding solutions to problems. Most of them think that by ignoring or just waiting for a later date to sort out a problem, things will sort themselves out. In that way they never find the solutions for issues. But After some time, a small misunderstanding finally matures into a serious problem.  Perhaps, it may be a very same issue which is rising time to time. If you do not take this up with your mate to a conclusive end which is agreeable to the two of you, more serious confrontations are underway.

Other thing is, both persons may not respect for each other.   If there is no respect, then you can say almost anything whether harmful and insolent. It’s a very bad situation and if you do this once, you will do it again and again. On the other hand, It could be that you are always looking for faults in your partner. If you really need to find faults of your partner, you will find many of them at the end of the day. And it will directly lead the way to endless fights.

In this world, no one is perfect, so the couples. We all have our shares of relationship troubles and marital confrontations.  But if you can communicate smoothly and wisely, lot of arguments can prevent.  Work together as a team to sort out your problems with love and trust. In fact, you can only succeed in all this if you work together as a team and avoid seeking to find faults. Spend your energy on the positives of your mate. It’s better to avoid fighting for invalid reasons like gossips, politics, friend’s matters, likes and dislikes of each others.  You need to humble yourself and avoid talking when your mate is talking. Then argument will automatically turn to a discussion.

Read More

How to fix a broken Relationship?

Just like any other things love also needs the care and attention. Many couples don’t think about this and ultimately end up unhappy relationships. The vital concern about the breaking relationship is "the love". If you really in love with, your lover you have more chances to stop this breakup. Only thing you have to do is right dedication on right places. However, sometime it’s better to breakup rather than having so many pains for trying to save it. It’s like you are trying to catch a falling glass. If that glass breaks, while you are trying, your hands may cut and you’ll hurt. So sometimes it’s better to let go. 

And if you think deeply, this breaking point is not due to one major reason. It’s a series of disappointments and resentments. At last it comes like big tide. So…it’s very difficult to stop. However it really doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship. Even the unhappiest of relationships can be fixed with a bit of understanding and love.

Most of the, time couples prefer to just end an argument with slammed doors and silent evenings, not coming to home or drunken nights rather than face the situations, or sort it out and clear the matter. We must understand that, as humans anyone can do wrong things. But name of the love we can forgive for each other. Further, never judge your partner. it takes a lot of courage and strength for your loved one to confess about something that they feel may be bad or hurtful. When you judge your partner, you make them feel worse, and you also psychologically affect them and make them shut themselves up. And once your partner feels uncomfortable sharing their dark secrets with you, they’d prefer to hide their secrets or talk to another friend rather than tell you what they really feel. And that’s never going to help your relationship. In fact, it could be one of the worst things that can happen to your relationship. And if you feel, your loved one do something wrong, just directly talk, rather than playing around or accusing. Because it’s may have a chance to prevent hot argument in near future. And let them feel how badly hurt yourself due to that case instead of shouting and quarreling. And unless an unpardonable mistake is repeated, learn to forgive and forget. Sometimes, even the best of us can make a mistake without really wanting to.

If the reason for breakup is too heavy, don’t try to fix it soon. It’s because your breakup is still fresh in both your hearts and minds and this might get in the way of your discussion.  Give a little time for that. Time is a good remedy for most of the cases. But just don’t pass the time or make a space between you and your partner. Take this time as an observation period, and when the right time comes talk with your partner. At that time both you people realized and regret about lot of things than before. So both you have good chance to discuss the matter. On the other hand, you may not be able to change your partner’s desire or an idea, but still you can change yourself to comply with them, unless it’s not major issue.  Changing oneself doesn't mean being submissive to the partner, but following a better way to be in a more satisfying relationship.

Read More

Getting over a relationship breakup

Almost everyone, in this world may got breakup relationship with their loved one, at least for a onetime in their life time. Heartbreak is one of the most difficult things to go through. But surviving after breakup will matter for how you feel it. Sometime it may cause for ruin the entire life of that person. It depends on how you deal with it. First of all think why you breakup with him or her. That reason is the key point for helps to overcome this sadness. If that reason was a good one for both of you, it’s very easy to justify the sorrow, and you could make up your mind up to that fare reason for both of you. If that decision was taken by a single person, that will be really sad situation. So how you gonna make up your mind through this situation?

Good crying is one of the main things for sadness. Never let pain for stuck in your mind.  Hard Crying will fade lot of sad things in our mind. Think every good thing that you have done to them, and think how much you loved them and cry hard. Let yourself be sad enough. You will need to allow your mind to take it all for one last time. Once you’ve cried your heart out, if you do need some time to think about everything again, tell yourself you will spend 10 minutes thinking about it and then move on. This will allow your brain to “schedule” sad time and you will feel like you have control over the situation instead of feeling miserable all the days. And Try to watch an adventure movie or and listen a up tempo song. That will defiantly reduce your sorrow. At least, for a limited time period.

Try to get busy on your life as possible as you could. Focus your mind for other things. If you are doing a job, you have a good opportunity to do so. But if you still studying, you try, more focus on your school works. If you are unable to do so at the very beginning, you may need to move with your friends as much as possible you can. Never forget to lean on your family too. They’re the ones who love you the most. In addition to that, if you work, you make this time to start making those major career leaps toward the promotion, that you have always wanted. Or, take your breakup as a chance to do something new, like learning dancing or doing aerobics. In there you may find new people too. Sometime it will lead the way to meet a fantastic person for your entire life. It’s also, volunteering and doing community service may helps to get your mind off silly things that don’t matters.

Other worse thing to eliminate is sleepless nights. Try to watch a movie or read a book until you feel the sleepy. Sleeping will give your mind rest from all the over thinking. Never spend drunken nights after breakup; of course alcohol and drugs may keep you away from your sorrow for a while. But the same time, you may do some stupid works, like making mad calls or rubbish texting. And the following day you may regret what you did last night and you may feel sorry about you, more than yesterday.  

The most important thing to keep in mind when you’re going through this first phase is, you should only limit it to one weekend. If it is a really long relationship, two weeks might be necessary. Never think that you not gonna survive after breakup, even after real perfect relationship. Human mind has a wonderful ability for adaptation. Only thing you need is a few days for that.

Read More

Trust in a relationship

Trust is one of the main key in a perfect relationship, and it is the most fragile element that can break easily. Keeping trust forever is not an easy thing. Most people look at trust as a threatening and sensitive burden. But if you concern about it with more care, it’s not a difficult thing to do and it matters to have best time of your lives. Trust can do so many happy things to a relationship, but the best thing it can do is bring both of you closer, avoid pain and hurt, Further it will lead a way to make both of you fall more in love with each other every single day.

Trust is building little by little, it never take very long leaps. And it’s starting since the very first moment that you meet your partner. Look at this example, when you have little comfort in front of your partner, then the next step is touch his or her hand, but for the very first time, it very nervous. It’s because still we do not know that, what the consequence of it is. Simply we have a doubt about it. In other words we don’t have trust about the consequence. But, when you do it for your first time, you feel little trust about your partner and you move to the next step, it’s may be the first kiss, and then to the next step. So eventually, when you past incident by incident, life gets a bit manageable and both of you start to open up with each other. This way you make the trust in your relationship. So each and every single of incident that happens, make trust in you and your partner. and accordingly it makes both of your comfortable in your relationship. So that’s why every single incident is so important for the trust. 

If we go beyond above levels, there are some other ways too for Build the trust. If you really serious about your relationship, always make future plans. Guess what you and your partner gonna do in next five years of time. May be building a big house, or buying a nice car. By talking about the future, you’re reassuring your partner that you truly want to be with them and see them in your life even as the years and decades pass by. And always be there when they want you. When they want to cry, give your shoulder lie on, when they want a protection, be a guardian, when they are grounded, give them a hope. Acknowledge that they have no other but you are.

And the other important thing is being opened, in front of your partner. Too many people never let their partners know what they need. Let them know your desires, let them show your feelings, may be your feelings and desires are dirty. But telling those or showing those, you may feel much comfort. And let them know that, you don’t have any person to tell or show your feelings and desires in this world. They will realize it. But it doesn’t mean, they must accept it or they must go with those. But after all, they know who you are and what you want. So... Build trust in a relationship and it’ll go a long way in creating a happy relationship.

Read More

How beauty matters to the relationship?

Actually what role plays beauty in a love affair? Is there any truth if you are not a pleasant, Handsome or beautiful person, you may never enjoy a long lasting relationship? Does it really beauty matters to a perfect relationship? 

Of course… if you are a pleasant, beautiful or handsome person, you blessed in born and you have more chances to be attracted by lot of people. it will play a major role at the starting point of a relationship. And it will make additional confidant in you. Anyone will think twice before they breakup with you. But above all do not mean, that you gonna have a perfect life long relationship with true love. True love matters to something else like, mutual bonding, understanding, unconditional love and eternal desire.

If you have a great relationship with beautiful or handsome person or if you married to someone looks like that, otherwise if you are a really beautiful person, yet your relationship or marriage going to ruin your life, can beauty save your relationship or marriage? It can’t save you. That’s the occasion for mutual bonding, understanding and eternal desire come to play roll for you. Not only that, it will play a major role by personal qualities and wisdom too. Not like born in beauty, these things you can think and make in yourself.

I had a real good story here. This happened to one of my friend. He was a good looking guy and married to pleasant women. They have 2 nice children too. This guy was a pianist. He was playing piano for parties and weddings. So he had plenty of opportunities to make easy relationships with many ladies and he did it. So… he played this dirty game for years. His wife knew about this and she cried a lot and asked him to stop this unpleasant habit. But he didn’t. She loved this guy very much and she didn’t leave him because of that. But one night he got a terrible accident with a lorry and his leg broke in to four parts; his nose got a bad injury and totally changed his look. Now he looks like a clown in a circus. Even I couldn’t recognize him. But his wife never left him. She loved him more and more. Then He realized what the love, relationship and the life is. He realized that his good look didn’t save his marriage but his lovely wife’s real love.

It doesn’t matter whether you are a beautiful, handsome, pleasant or unpleasant person.You need to continually work on beautifying your heart which describes who you are and how you relate with others. In fact, this kind of beauty makes you confident to stand before the society and present what you may have for them. In time, people will notice your attractive heart and, the right person will definitely be attracted to you. Even, if some people might consider you as an unpleasant person, Just know that as long as you are not unpleasant in your heart and you will enjoy a real life lasting relationship one day.

Read More

Love your lover without any reasons.

Why do you love your lover? Do you have any reasons for that? Have you ever asked that question from yourself? Do you have an answer for that?

Perhaps, you may say she is beautiful or she is very kind or her voice is so sweet, her body is amazing, or he is very hot, his eyes are so pretty or he loves me so much…etc. so…it means you love them because of a reason or bunch of reasons?

Well…what happen, one of above reasons disappear from them forever? Do you can still love them? 

But doing love without a reason seems somewhat odd or insane. So…it’s very true when we are falling in love with someone, it’s because for one or many of above reasons.  But the problem is, after this starting point of doing love, if you are still continuing love that person just for this reason or reasons, it may tricky. And it’s not a love. It calls desire. Desire is never last long. It has an end. And it’s true, desire also can keep both of you awaking, but it’s not the true love.  And after ending of the desire, you may frustrate about you partner. In that case, being love for reason is May not gonna long last.  So…end of the desire, you just gonna walk away from them?

 But of course, at the start you may love for a reason, but eventually you may love no matter what or without any reason. That’s the real love. It happens due to spiritual understanding. So the point is love without a reason is forever. Otherwise, if the reason you love is gone, some day, you will be disappointed and you may break up with them. And keep remember that, pure love doesn’t have any reason, as well as it will remain in every season.

Read More

Best way to deal with arguments in a relationship

Have you ever thought how some couples fight hardly, but still stay together and loving each other? It’s because they know what to dos and what to don’ts when they are in an argument or they understand each other very well mutually. But most in cases of arguments lead to separations too. So here are few concerns about the arguments for concern in an argument. 

First of all, there is a myth that, always being an argument with your partner makes you a bad partner. No, that is not. But it doesn’t mean arguing with your partner is good thing. It will make you a bad partner or a good partner, in the way you are arguing with them. When a argument is getting heat, just think, whether you carried out this argument to fix the thing or to hurt your partner. From that point, you could have, better way to do this argument. if you are doing that argument to hurt your partner, of course you are a bad human being. Otherwise, if you arguing just for fix the issue, you could turn the argument in to a discussion. 

However some arguments may lead to nightmares, if you do not care enough for what you tell or do, when you are in an argument.

Never threaten to your partner, like “I’m leaving you or want to break up with you”. Coz’ it doesn’t mean anything when you in angry mood. And your partner also may tell the same to you. So it’s never gonna fix the thing whether you really mean it or not. 

When you are arguing, if you feel you may be wrong in something, never try to just confess for hurt your partner. It means, “Yes I did that, so what?” Or “Yes… I have an affair with your friend. So?”  It’ll be like, “through straw in to the burning fire”. Don’t do it ever, if you really want your partner. Never remind the old issues to justify the case. It’s because it will lead the argument to another way, for sure. It’ll only make new points to more arguments.  

  

Never compare your partner to others. It’ll defiantly hurt you loved one instated of fixing or justifying things. If you do so they may tell, “So…You would have gone with him/her, why did you come to me?” You never gonna fix the issue in that way. If someone well known to you, accuses your partner of something, never use an argument to reveal to it, like. “My friend was right about you… but I never believe them”. It will make angry in her for both you and your friend. 

Don’t get involvement of a third person as a mediator or problem solver, in between you and your partner. Because it feels, you and the third person group together and try to explain why you’re right and your partner’s wrong. 

If you’re angry, just say it. Don’t pretend and say you’re fine. It won’t make you feel better nor solve the issue. Never ignore your partner after a warm argument, especially when they’re accepting for your attention. But if you really frustrated or angry with your partner just ask little Moment to be alone. It’s more better than ignoring them and making them feel miserable. Don’t blame again and again when your partner has no more to say about the issue or, when in helpless. Instead of that, make that, to a turning point toward discussion mode. 

Always try being honest with your argument. If you know already that you are wrong in something, don’t just argue to pretend you are not guilty. It’s better to try to confess it. or forget your pride and tell your partner that "I'm sorry" at least. And even if you’re right and when your partner apologizes to you, you need to tell your partner that you’re sorry too because you lost your control or because you misunderstood them. It’s the easiest way to avoid ego. So being honest in an argument, will always help your partner understand what hurt you or what you need, and they’ll be able to discuss the issue instead of arguing about it.

Don’t ever raise your hand against your partner unless self defense. Especially if you are a male it is like, you are showing and using your power over the females. It’s not nice.

But after all do you really love each others? Memorize it again and again, It will solve any issues after all arguments. Trust in your love always.

Read More

Living together or Marriage

Today in the world, after dating most of the couples, the next step is the living together with a committed relationship. Did you ever think why this happened? People apparently think compatibility cannot be tested without the actual experience of a marriage without any legal bonds. It’s like a trial run of the marriage. However this has a good side as well as bad side.

Living together has more freedom to select his or her legal life partner. Living under one roof is more far away from the dating. It will reveal more personal details about each other’s. In here you can’t hide your real situation. From this you could easily decide what the next fate of your relationship is. This will ease the life of course. So if this period went wrong, relationship would end up like “Turning off a light”. Not much hard feelings. But in a marriage you can’t just “turn off this light”. And of course, in here you have more freedom and the very less responsibilities for both of you. Specially for men. Generally, living together is not much empowering for women. It places them in a vulnerable position, emotionally and materially, and Women generally see moving in together as a step toward marriage, but men tend to regard the relationship as more of a sexual opportunity without the bonds and responsibilities of commitment.

In living together, love will not take much place like in the dating or marriage. Instead, sex and independency will take place. On dating always you have a hope for future; you have more curiosity about the next step of your relationship or what’s going on next. And also Dating will keep alive your love, and in a marriage too. When you have a bond from a marriage, you always do things to your relationship with the responsibilities. And every time love will take the place. After all you may pay more attention to care about your marriage. Coz’ you know it’s not just a living together.

And also I believe, a couple who get married after living together, is more tend to be divorced than the others. It’s because, they know how to survive after the divorce, or how to face the society after the divorce. They had good experience, about the independencies. So in one hand living together is more like to be prepared for divorce rather than the marriage.

But not being living together, could we decide our next step of a relationship? Of course you can. You have plenty of opportunities for that in the dating. You could talk anything, you could do anything and you name it. Only different is you not live under one roof with your better half. However, if you want more freedom and fewer responsibilities and without bonds, only relationship with all other benefits, answer is living together. Couples must decide what works best for them.

Read More