Under the Old Oak Tree.

As usual, I met her under the old Oak tree. That is the only oak tree, which is near by a wooden bench. And this is where I met her for first time. We sat on the wooden bench. Then she looked in to my eyes for a while and leaned on to my shoulders. I always happy to stay like that, So I can feel her breath and smell. Then she runs her fingers through my chest. Her silky hair which disobeyed, is struggling with wind blow. All are seems to be OK, but one thing. Not like other days, she didn’t talk with me much. I could feel how deeply her breaths, and sometime it became a deep sigh too. 

“Why this silence, and sad mood?” I Asked

Instead of answering me, she embraced me tightly. Then I moved my face to her eyes, I could see there are some sparkling tear drops in her eyes which, is trying ooze out soon. Then I kept my lips on her forehead. Suddenly she raised her head due to a noise which was made by a goose in the pond. Then she holds my hands and gave a deep look in to my eyes and turned her eyes towards to the mountain range, while biting softly her lower lip.

Then she stood up and moved a bit forward, and still looking at “Tatra mountain range”. I was looking her back, how beautiful is she? I thought to myself. She is wearing a short frock like the very first day that I saw her. My mind ran away to seven months back.

I’m an Estonian who came to Zakopane, Poland for work. I met her nearby this old oak tree in last winter season. Since then she was falling in love with me. And, then she is everything to me. My life is in this unknown country, would be meaningless without her sweet love. She gave everything to me. So…I couldn’t think about a life without her.

I could hear she is crying softly, and I could see it, while looking at her trembling body. Suddenly she turned back and run to me. Then I stood up. She straightly came to me and hugged me like a baby. She was crying hardly.

“Why this…?”

I asked softly, holding her shoulders and while moving her a little away from me. Now I can see her lovely face closely. Her eyes are reddish, her pinky lips are trembling and yellowish. Tears are oozing upon her pinky cheeks. 

Then her awake her shaking voice…”I’m sorry Edie...I’m really sorry”

 ”For what Juliana?”

 ”I didn't want to loose you ever, that’s why i cheated on you”

”You cheated...? about what...? What are you talking about Yuli?” 

”I’m Sorry Edie...I’m a married women”

And i didn't speak anything. I just stay still.

she surprised about my silence. And looked in to my face. 

”Edie... why you stay still...? why don't you flap on my Cheek...please do it...I deserve it.

I remain the silent and sat on the bench. She is still sobbing. I knew, she doesn't know that, it was known to me, she as a married women, since the day that I met her.

 ”Yuli I knew that...since the beginning. 

She talks with the shaking voice.

”How could that possible...Edie?”

”The day that we met, I saw the wedding ring in your finger. But the next i didn't see it. I knew that you are  pretending as a single. Day by day you were closing to me. Eventually, I feel you are a part of my soul. I didn't want to loose you either...But now i feel, I did the wrong...Because...I should have told you that, then you may walk away from me, at the very begging. I made this sadness in you, yuli....I’m really sorry...My love”

.

”No...No...don't say that, you never did wrong, This is the happiest time in my life. Though I married to Kyle, he never loved me. Sometime he didn't come home for months. He lives his own life, i am not in his world. So you are the person who made my life. I knew that I got special place in your heart. I thought, if i tell you about my marriage, you may go away from me. I never wanted to loose you, even now. That's why i cheated on you...Edie.....I’m sorry, Oh god...” 

She was crying while hitting her head on the bench. 

Then I moved to her and bent her face on my chest. It is almost 6’o clock. It will be dark soon. we must leave, before the dark.

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Is it good to marry a person you have not any romantic feelings for?

What do you do if you have to marry a person, who is not in romance with you?  

Suppose there is a person, who is wealthy, intelligence and average looking, but you don’t have any romantic feeling about the person. Under certain circumstance you may need to marry this person. what do you do in a situation like above?

How deeply romantic feelings are involving for successful marriage? What would happen if you married this person? 

Well…as I described in an earlier article, romance does give a real push for very beginning in a relationship or even in a marriage. In any happy marriage, intimacy is enjoyed, and it needs to be there. But it’s not enough for long lasting relationship. Gradually we need more and more valid reasons for keep this relationship continues. So in hand, if you could start a relationship or marriage without a romantic feeling for someone, we cannot exactly say, this not gonna workout. It depends on what you do in the relationship. If you can transform this person into the character you want them to be, it will be a good reason for have a feeling about him or her. Other major thing is try to avoid being judgmental and don't give up on all the efforts you make to change them to what you yearn for. Or accept them as they are. Be understanding and start, looking carefully at the qualities that attracted you to this person, You are likely to get the spark where it has been hiding.

So on the other hand, though you try hard to change that person, how you want them to be or accept them as they are, it may not work due to lack of other reasons. And don’t forget that romantic feelings are refreshing the relationship time to time. On this condition, Husband or boy friend feels a special or unique attachment to his wife or girl friend because of the attraction he has towards her and the same applies to the wife or girl friend. This not happens without a romance. Hence, romantic attraction must be there in a progressive and promising relationship besides the other qualities. Not only that, but also if you not have any romantic feelings about them, it’s naturally start failing to give that person their marital due (basically sex) eventually forcing them to go outside marriage to seek and get what you are denying for them.

However, one day if you have to marry a person, you don’t have any romance for, effective communication is a must. Let your partner know how you appreciate every effort they put forth to make the marriage work, and lovingly help them overcome the barriers you are seeing.

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Can long distance love survive healthy?

Does it long distance love survive healthy? Have you ever come a crossed this type of relationship? Carrying a long distance romance is not an easy thing, It's because, rather than holding it for a time period, it may easy to let go and make the mind up. If you ever have to take a decision on long distance love, are you willing to give it a chance? If you people have to stay separated for a time period, sometimes it may be easy to hold on. But, if you people have to stick in an unknown area for unknown time period, it wouldn’t be an easy thing to manage. But in here, hope is the key. Lets hope to lead the way. It will keep alive both of you. 
 

As I described in early article, most lovers take love and relationships for granted. But in reality, relationships need commitment and a bit of work. Most of the time, chemistry in love and understanding makes things in love seem easier and happier. When you are away from each other, it’s easier to rise up misunderstanding for very little things like, missing schedule meetings, giving phone calls on time, or engaging telephone line, or even for rumors. This makes worse, coz’ either of you can’t do much to ease the tension because both of you are so far away. Other major issues are freedom and loneliness. You have more freedom to do whatever you want, without knowing to your lover. Same time you have a painful loneliness without your lover. It will make up your mind to have more friendly associations with your friends.  So… those two facts will lead easily you for another relationship. Hence Take a chance on long distance love only if both of you can keep the trust and hope for each other.  

Always trust will play the key role for long distance love affairs. You know, it’s very easy to have a great time with someone else when you’re out with a ‘new friend’. Likewise could your partner be up to something? Or perhaps your partner may lose interest in the relationship when they’re having so much fun hanging out with new friends? And the biggest headache in long distance love, attractive new friends. It’s very easy for one partner to get jealous or angry when the other partner gets friendly with a few new attractive people. When new, mysterious friends start posting regular comments on social web sites or start interrupting phone calls, it’s all the more reason to lose your cool. But, still if you can keep trust in your lover, that's the key point. So the good news is, this is the perfect time to realize, who is the real life partner for you and what is the real love are. Both of you will feel how much love means to both of you, when you miss one partner. Not only that, but also when you put more effort to keep your love alive, automatically it will strengthen the relationship with trust, hopes and love. And the same it will raise the more sexual feelings about each other,  Long distance love can actually be the biggest relationship test that can help both of you understand how much either of you mean to each other.

All the humans are always growing and changing in to better and newer individuals. But you can’t see these changes, when you stay in together. Coz’ you evolve together. But when you away from each other, and when you go after your own carriers individually, these changes will lead both of you for some other directions. And both of you may end up becoming incompatible partners even if both of you were deeply in love with each other. At the end, Long distance love may be a great test to measure the strength in a relationship.

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Office love affaires are good or bad?

Most of us work office in more than 40 hours, in a week. Think about when we meet same person in that much of time, we spend hours upon hours engaging and collaborating. That dynamic can soon turn to flirting. On the other hand, if you deduct the sleeping hours and times of other activities, from the remaining day today time periods, you spend no more than, 25 hours with your family or loved one. According to a recent CareerBuilder study, 39% of employees said they have dated a co-worker at least once over the course of their career; 17% reported dating co-workers at least twice.  Almost a third (30%) of those people said they had gone on to marry the person.  So there is a huge potential to have an affair with the co-workers in an office.

But the problem is how ethical is this? Think you, as a loving husband to your wife. But at the office due to certain circumstance you are dating with a lady who is working with you in the office. Do you like, if your wife is doing very same thing, in her office? Like wise...if you are a good wife or a girl friend, would you like, your husband or boy friend have sex with other women in his office. Nobody which is not having any mentally illness, likes to let their loved one have sex with others. and the very same time you are cheating to your better-half too. So…both ways are painful. if you already, do this in your office, think twice and think whether this is ethical or not. 

And the other hand, these types of relationships are really matters to other co-workers in the office. Suppose, if you are a Boss, and you fell in love with low ranking officer, defiantly you bias to them and do more favors to her or him without proper judgments in his or her works or performances. So this may not any good for other workers as well as your institute. 

Second thing is, if something goes wrong with your informal romance, what is the consequence? An instance, I saw onetime, a decent lady (A wife) came rush in to my office and flapped a lady who is work in my office, in front of her office lover (Very high ranking officer).  So what’s his reputation or dignity? Most of the time either one has to move away from there. And the other thing is while you are having an office romance you may miss your duties too. So why do you put your career in to a jeopardy? Think well and do right.

But don’t forget that, Bill  and Melinda Gates Met at a 1987 Microsoft press event in Manhattan and married in 1994. They married on Jan. 1, 1994, on the Hawaiian island of Lanai. The couple has three children. Barack and Michele Obama Met in 1989, when Michelle was assigned to supervise Barack, a summer associate from Harvard Law School, at a Chicago firm. Married in 1992. They have two children. I guess they did these successful  marriages as were in singles.

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Once, I had a Love

It was the most beautiful days in my life. But I always felt that, I’m gonna miss it soon or later. And I knew that, I never find a girl like her again for my life time. She was the perfect one for me in every way. But I couldn’t tell her that, though I loved her so much. I always kept that within my heart as a secret. I never wanted to expose my love to her. I always tried to pretend I’m just a friend of her. But As Always, I wanted to be with her and I loved her. I knew, she also wanted the same. But she always tried to refrain it. And I didn’t let her know, that I always knew she was pretending that not so. I believe we both played the same game. So...I remember the last day that I met her in a cafe in "Volgograd"…

“I can’t believe why I close to you so much Ivan… why I talk with you so much…why I’m so friendly with you so much, even I have a boy friend. You know what Ivan…I feel... I made a terrible mistake in my life, that I never can revise….

“What is it Olya?”

“My fiancé…he is not the one for me, Ivan; I could have found a better one than him. You know... Once he was begging my love. Even, I didn’t like him. But later, I felt sad about him. Then I said “yes” to him. But I know it’s not real love.”

“I’m sorry Olya…but that is the life, everything not goes as we want”

“You don’t know what the love is, Ivan. But in a way, you right, everything not goes as we want …now it’s too late for me” 

I just sighed while looking in to her tearful eyes…then there was a silent. And again she mumbled to me.

“Why I tell you those things which I never told to anyone? I can’t understand anything...Oh god… I wanted this friendship keep forever. I feel sad about us… Ivan…Even, I don’t know how we gonna end up this story...”

“It’s Ok Olya…lets we live, don’t think so much. At least we met for our lives, we know that we really like each other. we must be happy about that.” You just smiled at me innocently.

But I feel the same about us, sad. And always I think "why I didn’t meet her early in my life?"

Then we took the lunch together. I told her that, I never forget that day, and she said the same.

She married on 30^thof November in 2005. I knew one day it’s going to be happened. I never talked to her since then. Once she made me laugh, made me happy, showed me the love, gave me a hope, and at last made me cry. At least now I feel that I had a true love once and it will last in my heart forever.

Inspired By True Story.

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Could you love someone like a fairytale?

Well, is this possible? Yes. Once, my friend had this type of love affair. It was an amazing love story. They did travel  together.  They did shopping together, they ate together. They studied together. They did almost everything together. But they were not living together until they married. Most remarkable thing was, though they liked each others that much, he or she never proposed to each other, until the very last week before they get married. They never spoke about their marriage or their future. They trusted each other abnormally. They lived in their own world. They didn’t care if; external world is existing either. They did only love. Is it possible to exists, that type of romance? I feel it’s like a fairytale. 

   

Love is a wonderful thing. Falling in real love, feel like a beautiful fairytale of course. but it depends, if only you just know how to feel it. It doesn’t matter, who you love with, it matters how you do it and how you experience it. If you know how to fall in love with someone and enjoy every moment of it, you’ll be able to experience it and cherish it better than many others who think love is just an excuse for sex or a way to lean on someone else. It doesn’t matter if you’re already in love or falling in love with someone right this moment, Just try these devotions and commitments to know how to fall in love like you’re in a fairytale, and you may fall into a perfect one!

More flexible, more listening and more patients will be the main key point for such a love. as an example, suppose your partner is suggesting something for you. So…Always listen carefully to your partner, be patient whatever you heard. Then talk with your lover calmly. If it’s a bad thing or a good thing, try to show the pros and cons lovingly. Then let your partner to decide it. If he or she really loves you, never get a wrong decision. However if something goes wrong and turned it to a warm argument don’t fear about, keep remember that this argument’s end should be a good decision for both of you. Never walk away from an argument and shut the door on your partner. Even if it hurts like crazy, talk about it and always end the argument with a warm hug and a kiss.

As possible as you could, stay in touch. You don’t have to be with each other all the time, but try to at least call or text and updating present situation. Maybe, when you are shopping with your friends you could buy some gifts for you partner. So they will realize wherever you go, in minds you stay with your lover. When you have some spare times on weekends, try to spend with your lover at a park, in cinema or a picnic. In this way you can know each other’s desires and wants more and more. And always take photographs or make home videos together. Special memories of everyday moments can actually help both of you fall more in love with each other each time you watch those photographs or videos again and again.

Never lose the faith about your true love. Same time, keep remember that you’ll never clap in one hand; you need two hands for that. Likewise such a love cannot exist in a single heart. Both hearts must be equally shared, then your fairytale romance will definitely have a happily ever after.

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Do you always fight with your partner?

Many couples in society are quarreling and arguing with each others, even when they love each other very much. if those arguments go deeply, they may not talk to each others for days. Perhaps you may try to resolve the case, but it may be more and more complicated at the end. Have you ever thought about this? Why this is happening in many?

If you take a closer look about this issue, you may see series of serious issues that you have not solved yet. This is characteristic of relationships and marriages where partners have a habit of postponing finding solutions to problems. Most of them think that by ignoring or just waiting for a later date to sort out a problem, things will sort themselves out. In that way they never find the solutions for issues. But After some time, a small misunderstanding finally matures into a serious problem.  Perhaps, it may be a very same issue which is rising time to time. If you do not take this up with your mate to a conclusive end which is agreeable to the two of you, more serious confrontations are underway.

Other thing is, both persons may not respect for each other.   If there is no respect, then you can say almost anything whether harmful and insolent. It’s a very bad situation and if you do this once, you will do it again and again. On the other hand, It could be that you are always looking for faults in your partner. If you really need to find faults of your partner, you will find many of them at the end of the day. And it will directly lead the way to endless fights.

In this world, no one is perfect, so the couples. We all have our shares of relationship troubles and marital confrontations.  But if you can communicate smoothly and wisely, lot of arguments can prevent.  Work together as a team to sort out your problems with love and trust. In fact, you can only succeed in all this if you work together as a team and avoid seeking to find faults. Spend your energy on the positives of your mate. It’s better to avoid fighting for invalid reasons like gossips, politics, friend’s matters, likes and dislikes of each others.  You need to humble yourself and avoid talking when your mate is talking. Then argument will automatically turn to a discussion.

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